Anyone who gardens, or has ever attempted gardening, or lives next door to someone who gardens is aware of a peculiar phenomenon:
The Mystery Squash
The Mystery Squash appears on your doorstep, or in overflowing baskets in the company breakroom, or laid gently on the bumper of your car so that you cannot escape.
The Mystery Squash is the result of too many damn zucchini, or courgettes—a plague common to pretty much anyone living in squash-growing climates (eg, everyone).
You start out with one or two, growing nicely. You make a lovely grilled courgette. You enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Then, days or so later, there’s more. Huzzah! More fresh veggies!
Then…more. And more, and more. Until you realise there’s some sort of gigantic Jurassic-sized squash threatening to, well, squash the local cats.
In my experience, most people get rid of all those surplus squash by giving them to others, or making a LOT of zucchini bread, or both.
Sometimes the squash aren’t so much given as reverse-burgled, being left with unsuspecting new owners in the dark of night.
As it turns out, though, you maybe shouldn’t eat the Mystery Squash.
Y’see, curcubits—a plant class including summer squash, zucchini, cucumbers, and many melons—can be toxic.
Toxic Squash Syndrome is an actual thing.
Yeah.
Um, if your squash tastes kind of bitter?
Do not eat.
Do not pass go, do not swallow, do not spend $200 on the emergency room getting your stomach pumped.
Squash grown from purchased seeds are almost always safe, but squash are randy little buggers and frequently cross-pollinate. They can also “volunteer,” which means growing from, say, a seed you chucked out in the compost.
Those squash can occasionally be loaded with bitter cucurbitacin, which can make you hella sick (think nausea, cramps, vomiting, or even long-term hair loss).
So yeah.
Toxic squash.
Between that, the general potential toxicity of solanaceae (eg, tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant/aubergines), the extremely persnickety nature of olives and cassava, and so on, I have no friggin’ clue how the human species didn’t poison itself off millennia ago.
How Did We Get Here?
Got courgettes at the market this week for the first time in quite a while, because the winter ones just aren’t as good.
This, combined with a lovely video from Max Miller this week about the illicit history of the potato, got me wondering about the connections between bitter melons, ‘meh’ winter squash, and tasty summer squash—as well as the Mystery Squash, of course.
And here we are.
Buffet of Knowledge
So what are you up to this week? Let me know in the comments!
Reading
Not much, frankly. Mostly trying to wrap my head around how bloody stupid the UK is being (Northern Ireland Protocols and food “strategy”).
Listening
L'Arc-en-Ciel, a 90s J-rock group that I first found when I was living in Sapporo and continue to adore.
Watching
A lot of silly maker videos, mostly NerdECrafter and Evan & Katelyn. There’s something comforting about having those on in the background when I just can’t.
Making
Finished several new crochet bags, using a couple of techniques. And have taken several attempts at using a knitting mill, with a lot of cursing and no success.
Another try today, plus attempting to photograph said bags.
Ooh, Squirrel!
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